We had small group tonight and Thomas asked me to share, which doesn't normally happen. Usually I'll just tell him I want to share and we go from there. But he was worried that he would be out of town so asked me to fill in. Of course I had no problem, the only problem I had was trying to decide what to share. I've been spending time in the word and reading Phillip Yancey's book "What's so Amazing about Grace" Things have been going great, I've really been making an effort to spend more time with God, I've been so tired lately but I'm really trying not to use that as an excuse for when I'm not. Anyways I had a few things in mind to share in home group but for some reason I couldn't wrap my mind around those things, I just felt lead to share something else. It was a modern day approach on the Prodigal son story. I'm to tired to type it out right now but it was really really good. Its funny because I often doubt myself when it comes to what God is speaking. I don't know where this insecurity comes from its not something I'm entirely used to dealing with, but for some reason I've been doubting that its actually God speaking to me I really don't know why but I'll get scriptures or a word to share and I'll read them and ponder over them and then I won't share them but the next person to share or pray, shares that exact verse or thought that I was thinking... It's like I'm afraid my prayers aren't going to be good enough that they won't measure up or something or the word I share won't?
Truth be told when I was younger I struggled with this all the time. I'm not so sure as to why I am now though?? It's odd.. I'm normally the person that doesn't care what people think, I'll do things the way I want to do them or whatever cause I really don't care what people think of me. I like to have fun and goof around and be me, but for some reason lately when it comes to "God stuff" I find myself feeling insecure or shy about it? If thats even right.
I have goals and dreams, I love to share the word with people, I'd love to be a pastor and one day I'd love to lead worship, but I am not confident enough to sing by myself. I know I can sing, I do have areas I need to work on but who doesn't. Anyways I'm not even sure why I'm writing this stuff down.. I guess I just need to get it off my chest. I don't want to doubt and be insecure about sharing the word or whatever God gives me to share I want to step out and be bold.
Anyways I'm going to bed cause I'm UBER tired.
Hellooooo?
9 years ago
8 comments:
You need to type that story out when you have time babe! It was amazing! You did awsome tonight and I am glad that you were obedient to what God was asking you to share because it blessed everyone!
I love you!!
I know exactly what you mean re: the insecurity. I used to stand there (in church or home group or prayer or wherever) thinking, "God, really? Are you sure that's what you want me to say? Is that my voice or yours? Really? You positive?" ....until finally somebody else would go up and say the exact thing. Then I'd get pretty ticked off and think, "HEY! That's MY word! No fair!"
Pretty silly. But you're a mature Christian, you know the voice of God, and you need to feel BOLD to step out there and speak the word! God has used you in amazing ways in the past -- He knows what He's doing. I say, just do it!
I'm glad Home Group went so well!
You did awesome tonight. I always find the stories or verses you share inspiring.
It was an awesome home group tonight. The topic of the night was well chosen by God himself!
Chris, Chris, Chris...not what I'd expect of you..
JUST KIDDING! Seriously though, every word I've heard you speak is awesome and really encouraging to me personally. Whether it be back in youth, or today at home group. You've always pushed ME to step out of my comfort zone, and I've grown a lot because of that. So be confident in what God gives you :) Isaiah 55:10-11 always encourages me that God will not let His words go without a purpose.
I'm not sure what to say about your insecurity. But keep up with staying in the Word. I've heard you share before and it's nothing to be ashamed of. You have a calling from God and the devil doesn't want you to fulfill it. I'm praying for you! :)
Dude, you are so echoing my thoughts every time I have to share!! It's encouraging to see that Moses deals with the same thing and has his 5 excuses!! I miss hearing you share Chris!!!
thanks for sharing! it helped me share what I needed to share and know that you guys would pray.
Chris,
The whole night was ordained by God. The word, worship, prayer and socializing. You did an awesome job. Thanks for being obedient to His voice.
And next time. you need to sing a little louder because I would love to hear your voice. Step out in faith! Love you guys. Bolty
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