God is GREAT!

We had small group tonight and Thomas asked me to share, which doesn't normally happen. Usually I'll just tell him I want to share and we go from there. But he was worried that he would be out of town so asked me to fill in. Of course I had no problem, the only problem I had was trying to decide what to share. I've been spending time in the word and reading Phillip Yancey's book "What's so Amazing about Grace" Things have been going great, I've really been making an effort to spend more time with God, I've been so tired lately but I'm really trying not to use that as an excuse for when I'm not. Anyways I had a few things in mind to share in home group but for some reason I couldn't wrap my mind around those things, I just felt lead to share something else. It was a modern day approach on the Prodigal son story. I'm to tired to type it out right now but it was really really good. Its funny because I often doubt myself when it comes to what God is speaking. I don't know where this insecurity comes from its not something I'm entirely used to dealing with, but for some reason I've been doubting that its actually God speaking to me I really don't know why but I'll get scriptures or a word to share and I'll read them and ponder over them and then I won't share them but the next person to share or pray, shares that exact verse or thought that I was thinking... It's like I'm afraid my prayers aren't going to be good enough that they won't measure up or something or the word I share won't?
Truth be told when I was younger I struggled with this all the time. I'm not so sure as to why I am now though?? It's odd.. I'm normally the person that doesn't care what people think, I'll do things the way I want to do them or whatever cause I really don't care what people think of me. I like to have fun and goof around and be me, but for some reason lately when it comes to "God stuff" I find myself feeling insecure or shy about it? If thats even right.

I have goals and dreams, I love to share the word with people, I'd love to be a pastor and one day I'd love to lead worship, but I am not confident enough to sing by myself. I know I can sing, I do have areas I need to work on but who doesn't. Anyways I'm not even sure why I'm writing this stuff down.. I guess I just need to get it off my chest. I don't want to doubt and be insecure about sharing the word or whatever God gives me to share I want to step out and be bold.

Anyways I'm going to bed cause I'm UBER tired.